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Keeping it 100

 
 
 
 
 

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Everyone should just take a chill pill  

2016-04-02 10:18:39|  分类: Alone Time |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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I came back home at 10pm, exhausted. I wanted to go straight to bed but I still spent some time on the piano and catching up on a new show that I discovered over the weekend. 
It's now 11:30 and I'm pretty sure by the time I finish this post - it will go past 12. Yet I still want to get up at 6 tomorrow.  I guess you never realize how life was generous with you on time until you wasted them all. 
It's scary to think that this will probably be a kind of life for the rest of me. I try not to go there. 

I thought I had more to say about my life, the job, the city - but no, it's like I was thrown into this ongoing washing machine, it's chaotic as hell and I'm trying to find some stillness out of this mess.

I'm always tired, lonely, confused and unsure of myself. At the same time, I feel excited, confident and empowered. Maybe that's just because I'm in my early 20s and that what people do in my age - although I thought I had a lot of those figured out in college. Maybe I should stop worrying, maybe I should take a chill pill. 

I just can't stop wondering, wondering if I've made stupid decisions, if I'm making right choices, if things will ever work out fine for me. If they don't, if they aren't going anywhere, can I walk away? Is that giving up? 
I know many people, including me, have given up on something because 'it's not going anywhere'. But why does it have to go somewhere? And where is that 'somewhere' place? And who is to say if it's going or not going somewhere? 

My head hurts. And now I just want to rest. 
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